Lucky for the news media. You can only go so far with "inept," "total domination" and the like. It gets old after a while.
But with this India team, they have found a gift that keeps on giving. Instead of the pre-programmed, computer generated, mind numbing, totally inconsequential PR-speak that is routine in so many of the modern media interactions including professional sport, they get gems every day that they can write headlines with and entire articles about.
If a certain touchingly naive directness was the only redeeming quality about these pronouncements, it is far exceeded by a total lack of any understanding of time and circumstance.
Consider Virender Sehwag. His recent foray with the press caused even balanced reporters to lead with 'We won 2-0 in India - Sehwag.' Here is a simple rule that Sehwag can remember, along the lines of "see ball, hit ball." You never, never ever, bring up your past victories. Least of all after having been pasted four different times in as many weeks.
With that, Sehwag has achieved a rare double. Appear a whinging, sore loser now, while at the same time getting a head start on taking the lustre off any future home victories. I used to think India's home wins are not given enough credit for, but now perhaps I begin to see why. If you are going to use them as a fig leaf to cover yourself every time you find yourself without clothes, then even golden fig leaves I suppose would get soiled.
And the disease does not appear limited to Sehwag. Gautam Gambhir produced 'Prepare 'rank turners' for visiting teams - Gambhir.' Again, there is some valid point in there that visiting teams should equally be tested in India under unfamiliar conditions (trust me, they expect to be), but why would you be making this point in the middle of a whitewash in Australia?
Ashwin, for his part, appears to have a picked a semantic quarrel: 'India 'disappointed' not 'embarrassed' - Ashwin.' I have no idea why he thought this was an important distinction we should all be thoroughly informed about, but he needs to understand that just because someone asks you a provocative question does not mean you have to directly and thoroughly answer it. He could simply have said they were all extremely disappointed and stopped there instead of making sure to tell us that the team still had their heads high with their effort. I agree they probably did put in the effort, and there is nothing to be ashamed of there, but that was not the point.
MS Dhoni has, in the past, shown better facility at not creating news simply by having a news conference, but his problem has been different. After a loss or two, a calm demeanour elicits compliment. Especially if it is followed by a win or two. After eight consecutive losses, a beatific smile on your lips as you discuss your team's failings is somewhat out of place. A little glum would have gone a long way here. But that's the way he is, and I am not going to blame him for it. His crimes at the press conferences, at least, are far less.
Now, some would infer problems with attitude and causes of the cricketing disaster from all these weird public pronouncements but I am not going to make that leap. I do however, think that the Indian team can help themselves a great deal by developing a little sensitivity to what perceptions they cause and a little competence in dealing with news media. It is really not very complicated - when you lose all you have to do is simply repeat: extremely disappointed, didn't put up enough runs, didn't take enough wickets, will go back to the drawing board, work hard, blah blah blah. Nothing about pitches, home conditions, and what not.
As if the players alone are not enough, there is this curious case of a "media manager" of the Indian team that one hears about time to time. I would have thought such a person would have instructed, prepared, even pleaded with, if necessary, the players on how to talk to the media, what to say, and what not to say. That is what spokespersons, communications chiefs, and press secretaries do. And if the Indian team's version is not all that sophisticated, maybe he just gets the microphones and chairs in order for the press conferences. But no, G.S. Walia, India's media manager, appears to be waging his own battles. When the media mention the media manager in a story about a press conference that leads with the words "debacle," and "farce," you know you have plumbed some serious depths of incompetence.
And this I find far harder to accept. The cricket, sure, I get. And having been a child of the seventies and young adult of the eighties I have known the misfortune of fanatic fandom in longer and deeper periods of cricket ineptness. The players and their press conferences, too, I can excuse - they are getting annihilated and are not experts at public communications. But the media manager? This is not an intangible that administrators cannot really control, like the cricket. Can we not find a halfway competent PR person who doesn't get stories written about himself?
Win with grace and lose with dignity, they say. Sadly, a team filled with people who have done both, especially the former and with great distinction, cannot even seem to manage the latter in this tour so far.
But with this India team, they have found a gift that keeps on giving. Instead of the pre-programmed, computer generated, mind numbing, totally inconsequential PR-speak that is routine in so many of the modern media interactions including professional sport, they get gems every day that they can write headlines with and entire articles about.
If a certain touchingly naive directness was the only redeeming quality about these pronouncements, it is far exceeded by a total lack of any understanding of time and circumstance.
Consider Virender Sehwag. His recent foray with the press caused even balanced reporters to lead with 'We won 2-0 in India - Sehwag.' Here is a simple rule that Sehwag can remember, along the lines of "see ball, hit ball." You never, never ever, bring up your past victories. Least of all after having been pasted four different times in as many weeks.
With that, Sehwag has achieved a rare double. Appear a whinging, sore loser now, while at the same time getting a head start on taking the lustre off any future home victories. I used to think India's home wins are not given enough credit for, but now perhaps I begin to see why. If you are going to use them as a fig leaf to cover yourself every time you find yourself without clothes, then even golden fig leaves I suppose would get soiled.
And the disease does not appear limited to Sehwag. Gautam Gambhir produced 'Prepare 'rank turners' for visiting teams - Gambhir.' Again, there is some valid point in there that visiting teams should equally be tested in India under unfamiliar conditions (trust me, they expect to be), but why would you be making this point in the middle of a whitewash in Australia?
Ashwin, for his part, appears to have a picked a semantic quarrel: 'India 'disappointed' not 'embarrassed' - Ashwin.' I have no idea why he thought this was an important distinction we should all be thoroughly informed about, but he needs to understand that just because someone asks you a provocative question does not mean you have to directly and thoroughly answer it. He could simply have said they were all extremely disappointed and stopped there instead of making sure to tell us that the team still had their heads high with their effort. I agree they probably did put in the effort, and there is nothing to be ashamed of there, but that was not the point.
MS Dhoni has, in the past, shown better facility at not creating news simply by having a news conference, but his problem has been different. After a loss or two, a calm demeanour elicits compliment. Especially if it is followed by a win or two. After eight consecutive losses, a beatific smile on your lips as you discuss your team's failings is somewhat out of place. A little glum would have gone a long way here. But that's the way he is, and I am not going to blame him for it. His crimes at the press conferences, at least, are far less.
Now, some would infer problems with attitude and causes of the cricketing disaster from all these weird public pronouncements but I am not going to make that leap. I do however, think that the Indian team can help themselves a great deal by developing a little sensitivity to what perceptions they cause and a little competence in dealing with news media. It is really not very complicated - when you lose all you have to do is simply repeat: extremely disappointed, didn't put up enough runs, didn't take enough wickets, will go back to the drawing board, work hard, blah blah blah. Nothing about pitches, home conditions, and what not.
As if the players alone are not enough, there is this curious case of a "media manager" of the Indian team that one hears about time to time. I would have thought such a person would have instructed, prepared, even pleaded with, if necessary, the players on how to talk to the media, what to say, and what not to say. That is what spokespersons, communications chiefs, and press secretaries do. And if the Indian team's version is not all that sophisticated, maybe he just gets the microphones and chairs in order for the press conferences. But no, G.S. Walia, India's media manager, appears to be waging his own battles. When the media mention the media manager in a story about a press conference that leads with the words "debacle," and "farce," you know you have plumbed some serious depths of incompetence.
And this I find far harder to accept. The cricket, sure, I get. And having been a child of the seventies and young adult of the eighties I have known the misfortune of fanatic fandom in longer and deeper periods of cricket ineptness. The players and their press conferences, too, I can excuse - they are getting annihilated and are not experts at public communications. But the media manager? This is not an intangible that administrators cannot really control, like the cricket. Can we not find a halfway competent PR person who doesn't get stories written about himself?
Win with grace and lose with dignity, they say. Sadly, a team filled with people who have done both, especially the former and with great distinction, cannot even seem to manage the latter in this tour so far.
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