Artful Communications, Lack Thereof

Lucky for the news media. You can only go so far with "inept," "total domination" and the like. It gets old after a while.

But with this India team, they have found a gift that keeps on giving. Instead of the pre-programmed, computer generated, mind numbing, totally inconsequential PR-speak that is routine in so many of the modern media interactions including professional sport, they get gems every day that they can write headlines with and entire articles about.

If a certain touchingly naive directness was the only redeeming quality about these pronouncements, it is far exceeded by a total lack of any understanding of time and circumstance.

Consider Virender Sehwag. His recent foray with the press caused even balanced reporters to lead with 'We won 2-0 in India - Sehwag.' Here is a simple rule that Sehwag can remember, along the lines of "see ball, hit ball." You never, never ever, bring up your past victories. Least of all after having been pasted four different times in as many weeks.

With that, Sehwag has achieved a rare double. Appear a whinging, sore loser now, while at the same time getting a head start on taking the lustre off any future home victories. I used to think India's home wins are not given enough credit for, but now perhaps I begin to see why. If you are going to use them as a fig leaf to cover yourself every time you find yourself without clothes, then even golden fig leaves I suppose would get soiled.

And the disease does not appear limited to Sehwag. Gautam Gambhir produced 'Prepare 'rank turners' for visiting teams - Gambhir.' Again, there is some valid point in there that visiting teams should equally be tested in India under unfamiliar conditions (trust me, they expect to be), but why would you be making this point in the middle of a whitewash in Australia?

Ashwin, for his part, appears to have a picked a semantic quarrel: 'India 'disappointed' not 'embarrassed' - Ashwin.' I have no idea why he thought this was an important distinction we should all be thoroughly informed about, but he needs to understand that just because someone asks you a provocative question does not mean you have to directly and thoroughly answer it. He could simply have said they were all extremely disappointed and stopped there instead of making sure to tell us that the team still had their heads high with their effort. I agree they probably did put in the effort, and there is nothing to be ashamed of there, but that was not the point.

MS Dhoni has, in the past, shown better facility at not creating news simply by having a news conference, but his problem has been different. After a loss or two, a calm demeanour elicits compliment. Especially if it is followed by a win or two. After eight consecutive losses, a beatific smile on your lips as you discuss your team's failings is somewhat out of place. A little glum would have gone a long way here. But that's the way he is, and I am not going to blame him for it. His crimes at the press conferences, at least, are far less.

Now, some would infer problems with attitude and causes of the cricketing disaster from all these weird public pronouncements but I am not going to make that leap. I do however, think that the Indian team can help themselves a great deal by developing a little sensitivity to what perceptions they cause and a little competence in dealing with news media. It is really not very complicated - when you lose all you have to do is simply repeat: extremely disappointed, didn't put up enough runs, didn't take enough wickets, will go back to the drawing board, work hard, blah blah blah. Nothing about pitches, home conditions, and what not. 

As if the players alone are not enough, there is this curious case of a "media manager" of the Indian team that one hears about time to time. I would have thought such a person would have instructed, prepared, even pleaded with, if necessary, the players on how to talk to the media, what to say, and what not to say. That is what spokespersons, communications chiefs, and press secretaries do. And if the Indian team's version is not all that sophisticated, maybe he just gets the microphones and chairs in order for the press conferences. But no, G.S. Walia, India's media manager, appears to be waging his own battles. When the media mention the media manager in a story about a press conference that leads with the words "debacle," and "farce," you know you have plumbed some serious depths of incompetence.

And this I find far harder to accept. The cricket, sure, I get. And having been a child of the seventies and young adult of the eighties I have known the misfortune of fanatic fandom in longer and deeper periods of cricket ineptness. The players and their press conferences, too, I can excuse - they are getting annihilated and are not experts at public communications. But the media manager? This is not an intangible that administrators cannot really control, like the cricket. Can we not find a halfway competent PR person who doesn't get stories written about himself?

Win with grace and lose with dignity, they say. Sadly, a team filled with people who have done both, especially the former and with great distinction, cannot even seem to manage the latter in this tour so far.

A Beautiful Illustration of Brain-dead

It is curious how in all sports bad sporting performances routinely metastasise into horrible mental mistakes.

It was 162 for 5, chasing 500. No, chasing is the wrong word. Whatever curious enterprise India were engaged in out there, it was definitely not chasing totals. No, it was much more relevant that five wickets were down in the 4th innings, with another day to go and an unfathomable number of runs behind, with the last remaining specialist batsman already out there and the number 7, playing in his second Test, slated to walk out. India send out a night watchman !

Several questions come to mind: Who were they trying to protect? That legendary hall of fame middle order that was about to follow? And what was the point of protecting anything? I must have missed it, was there a game hanging in the balance? Or maybe it was the first day of a Test, waiting to be blown wide open the next day?

I really, really wish someone from the media would ask them to explain this decision as a cricketing matter. I say this more out a deep curiosity than anything else, because I found the decision to be quite impossible to understand. The only way I could justify it was nobody was thinking, they had all switched off. With 15 minutes to go or whatever, Ishant pads up. Because that's just the way it is done.

Inevitably, another ugly mental mistake followed - Kohli ran himself out protecting the night watchman. Perhaps he is so used to desperately trying to prolong an Indian innings by now that the sight of Ishant Sharma triggered some muscle memory of shielding his No. 10.

Modern professional sport is played at such a generally high level, and the cost of mistakes correspondingly so high, that it is not too difficult make fools of oneselves. It is certainly not true that a team with hundreds of Tests between them know nothing about the game, but India sure looked like clowns yesterday.

Kohli, Whiskey and a Prediction

Jan 14, 2012. A blog is born, after having been thought about for a long time. More about the history later, but I am having to write this first post with desperate urgency because of certain events that are about to happen. At least that's my prediction.

Satadru Sen opens an article with a pleasing image of settling in to watch India bat with a drink, snacks and the expectation of time, sweet time. Ah, what a wonderful thing, I thought -- certainly to do, but even just to imagine it.  Great to know that there are also other souls out there who would not only do such a thing, but also write about it. But alas, he ends, many words later, that he would be hard pressed to do the same when Virat Kohli or Rohit Sharma walk out five years from now.

Surely not, Satadru Sen. I hope not.

Kohli is going to get there. Kohli is going to get himself into your whisky, my snacks and both our time. "Will propped up by something more than itself - propped up by technical virtuosity and severe discipline" says a discerning voice recently.

He doesn't say that about Kohli, but I do. Drive, determination, the sheer pigheaded will to do well, Kohli clearly has all this abundance. I frankly think almost everyone playing at the highest levels has all this, but in Kohli's case it is obvious he does. The look of anguish every time he comes back from the middle is precious.

In fact, I was more worried until recently if he was going to be consumed by his own intensity, swallowed up by an inability to forget his failed outings, a la Billy Beane. But his recent press conference put these fears to rest. Yes, he spoke of not understanding why people are after him -- he needs to ignore this -- but he did so composedly. More pertinently he said this is not the last series we will play, not the end of the world. He has balance in his intensity, perspective in his outlook. This is rare.

Technical virtuosity - not 100% there, but I would say clearly he is 75% there, and what is not there is improving almost right in front of our eyes. Both in Sydney and in Perth, I thought next to Tendulkar he looked absolutely the most in command. Nothing really troubled him. The drives were pure, the leaves assured, bad and pad close in every defense, off stump sense decisive (although he could do a little better here). No less than Richie Benaud was apparently moved by the technical rock-solidness of this kid.

Discipline - no one who watched him in Perth can say he is lacking patience and discipline. He left pretty much everything he could, fished at nothing, never went chasing. I counted more Dravid flashes.

Yet, for all the talk of the promise, no one will go all in with Kohli. We'll have to wait and see they'll say. He has the potential, they say.

Well, if there is going to be any prediction about Kohli, now is the time for anyone bold or stupid enough to make it. Soon, it will be too late to make predictions. So, here we go.

I predict Virat Kohli will prolong Satadru Sen's pleasurable rituals for years to come. I predict Virat Kohli at Perth 2012 will be spoken of in the same breath as Dravid at Headingley, Laxman at Kolkata, Sehwag at Melbourne, Tendulkar at too many places to just mention one.

10 minutes to go before play opens, day 3, India vs Australia, Perth 2012. Virat Kohli 21 not out overnight, India 120 behind.